In the eyes of a child…..

Can you ever remember wanting something so bad, you could just taste it? Do you have a childhood memory that evoked such emotion that you’ve never forgotten how you felt? Do you have a picture in your mind of that time in your life? If you do, then you need to write about it.

The words below are exactly how this story came to be written. I was in a writer’s workshop in Milan, Italy. The professor gave us an exercise stipulating that we must write about a childhood emotion, visualizing a picture of that time.

I wait, I’m sitting in my little chair on the veranda, I’m watching for my uncle, he’s coming to pick me up. He’s taking me to the circus. I’m five years old, I’m wearing a very pretty dress, my shoes are polished and my hair has a bow in it that matches my dress. I love my uncle, he thinks I’m “special” – he told me I was his very favourite niece! What fun – he’s always there for me, taking me places, seeing things through my eyes. I’m so excited, my shoe jiggles as I wave my foot back and forth. The sun is in my eyes, I shade my eyes with my hands – he’s coming, my excitement builds, I imagine the elephants, the lions, the tigers, the people – so many people – but I’m not scared, he’ll look after me. He’s coming, soon.

I watch the road and I wait, I imagine him coming down the road, balloons in his hand, a warm smile on his face, he promised he’d take me to the circus and he never breaks a promise. I wait, the sun isn’t in my eyes anymore, he promised, I wait…..soon, he’s coming. Why isn’t he here? Did I do something wrong?

It’s getting dark, I should go in the house, maybe he won’t be here after all, but he promised. I know he’s coming, he promised, he will be here. What about the circus? I don’t care about the circus – I just know I’m happy when he’s here with me.

I go inside, sad, dragging my feet, he promised and he didn’t come. I believed him, I’m so disappointed, he didn’t come, he broke his promise. Maybe it’s my fault – what did I do wrong? No, no, it’s not me, it’s him – he promised!

I sit in my own little chair, and I rock, back and forth, back and forth, sad, disappointed, lost. He promised……

Suddenly the door opens! “I’m here sweetheart, I’ve got the tickets, let’s get going or we will be late!” He gives me a hug, hands me a balloon and lifts me on to his shoulder.

“I waited and waited Uncle, I was afraid you weren’t coming.”

“ A promise is a promise – I will always be here for you, maybe late, but I will always come……remember, a promise is a promise.”

I think back to that little girl, waiting and waiting …..believing so deeply that he would come and take her to the circus. He did come and she learned - sometimes it may take a little longer, but always believe in your dreams…….. they really do come true.

That little girl really was me…..and I truly did wait for my uncle to take me to the circus. As a little girl, I couldn’t tell time and I just knew that today was the day I was going to the circus…..and I waited, and I waited, I remember wrestling with so many emotions that day – thinking maybe I didn’t deserve to go to the circus, maybe he didn’t love me, maybe I wasn’t as good as I should have been…………maybe I was just impatient ……….that day I learned to believe in myself and others….recognizing that dreams do come true – they just take a little time!

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